My Ex Girlfriend Wont Let Grandparents See Child but Lets Her Family

I don't usually post about my personal life online, but take decided to reach out to strangers to hear their opinions. I was married for 13 years earlier I finally cut ties with my ex and we got divorced. My ex-hubby and I are great at co-parenting. We aren't friends simply can get along enough to try to practice what's best for our 5 kids. I have full custody and he has visitation. Nosotros both attend school conferences and events and make "large decisions" regarding the kids together.

When I made the decision to divorce, I was prepared to "surrender" a lot of things. I knew I would struggle financially and was prepared to surrender my cell phone, cablevision Goggle box, eating out, and even the possibility of having to move to a smaller house or apartment. I wasn't prepared to give up my family unit, and that really took me by surprise.

Why I Want My Family unit to Cut Ties with My Ex

I've always been very close to my older sister. We moved our families from California to Utah together and used to practise everything together (vacations, outings, shopping, etc.). Soon after my divorce, my ex started attending all of my nephew'due south brawl games. I attended a couple merely soon stopped because I wanted to cutting ties with my ex, I didn't want to have to be around him.

Equally time went on, I noticed that my sis (and her hubby and kids) notwithstanding stayed pretty close to my ex. One of the first "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. We had agreed that I would have the kids. I planned on going to my sis'due south house for Thanksgiving dinner as I had always done before. As information technology got closer to Thanksgiving, I started worrying that my ex would be there. It'southward not that we tin't exist at the aforementioned place. We don't hate each other, just I don't like existence around him.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I text my sister to inquire her if he would be in that location. She said she didn't know nevertheless. 2 days earlier Thanksgiving, I text once again and asked and let her know that if he was going to be there, the kids and I would not. She responded and told me that yes, he would exist there. That was one of the hardest Thanksgivings for me. The day before Thanksgiving, I went shopping and bought everything for Thanksgiving dinner. The kids and I spent the solar day at dwelling together. We cooked together and had our own little dinner. But it wasn't the aforementioned. We weren't around family.

This kind of thing has continued, and I have distanced myself from her and her family.

About a year and a half after my divorce, my trivial sister and her husband decided to move from California to be closer to us. I was beyond excited that I would have the chance to exist close to my fiddling sis, nieces, and new baby nephew. I couldn't await for them to motility so I could have a relationship with them. I was excited until I learned that they were moving into a house 5 doors down from my ex-husband.

Since the move, my piffling sis has besides gotten really shut to my ex. He goes to her firm during the holidays. He invites them over for barbecues. They all carve pumpkins (Halloween) and build gingerbread houses (Christmas) together, etc.

Soon after my little sister moved, my mom did too. Now, my two sisters, my mom, and I all live in the same town.

My ex has our kids every other weekend. Every time I pick them up, I hear the stories of what they did. He also has a girlfriend now. They (my ex, his girlfriend, my sisters, my brothers-in-police force, my mom, and my nieces and nephews) take Superbowl parties together, have "family days" at the park, go shooting, go out to dinner or breakfast, etc. My sis has go corking friends with my ex's girlfriend. They all hang out together. They (and my kids) went and decorated my ex's piece of work for his birthday, etc., etc., etc.

I effort really hard to do what's best for my kids. Even though it hurts me badly to hear of all the things my ex, my kids, and my family do together all the time, I never say anything virtually information technology to my kids. I listen to their stories and hold dorsum the tears until I'1000 alone because I don't want them to feel bad or think that they are doing anything incorrect. But I truly think it'due south wrong. I wish they would but cut ties with my ex already.

I get along with him when I have to: when I feel it'due south all-time for our kids (birthdays, schoolhouse events). I am always civil with/to him and never say anything bad near him to or in front end of my kids. I listen to how my kids are developing a human relationship with his girlfriend. It hurts sometimes to hear how close they are to her and all the "motherly" kinds of things they do together, but I think that's good for my kids and I endeavor to support information technology.

I feel similar I do everything I can to assistance my kids and always try to look at things from other points of views, simply I don't remember I should have to cull to either give upward my family or spend so much time (including every holiday) with my ex-married man. I don't like who I am or how I feel around him. I become unhappy and grouchy. I shouldn't have to feel that way in guild to spend time with my family, and I don't retrieve my kids should take to see me like that either.

I feel similar an emotional mess and cry any time I think virtually all of it. I don't talk to or see my family anymore. I don't get to see my niggling niece or nephew grow. I don't get to know and spend time with them.

My question is this:

Am I unreasonable to desire my family unit to cut ties with him and support me and my decision? Or should I be expected to but "deal with it"?

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Source: https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/want-family-to-cut-ties-with-ex-am-i-being-unreasonable

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